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So like, yeah, of course, it’s going to be intimidating. So our writer is writing from the perspective of somebody who’s never fondled a dick, who’s never been in close quarters with a hard dick. You do something long enough, you understand that it’s not really that big of a deal. I think that probably what played some role is just the handling of it, the familiarity. Maybe it was my relationship with work and capitalism and all of that maturing. Maybe it was traveling and handling foreign cash, which at the beginning of traveling internationally, felt like Monopoly money. Eventually, this thing just sort of dissipated. Maybe it was a weird manifestation of my discomfort with the commodification of my body or the way that feminists commodified my own consensual commodification. Bonus if they would just take pity on me and flatten out the cash themselves and feed it into the machine. I would take the sock to a friend and ask them to stand with me while I put it into the ATM. Then I would take the ball of cash and shove it in a sock. I would take the cash quickly, and shove it somewhere. When I was doing conventions, you handle a lot of cash, and for the first five years, I did not want to touch the cash. Send me updates about Slate special offers.
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If I do get back in the scene in the future and find myself staring down the barrel of a penis, how should I quell the nausea? What can I do to be comfortable with the idea of a dick in my mouth? Are there some magical guys out there who would be content with never getting a blowjob? I would prefer to not stress about how much of a gender failure I am for the rest of my life. It’s not a pressing issue because I’m happy in my current relationship, but I sometimes lie awake thinking about how no cis man would ever be happy with me and I should resign myself to lesbianism (don’t get me started on the issue of wearing a wedding dress). The idea of some man looking down at me while I pleasure him-maybe this is rooted in gender roles, but again, just the thought upsets me. I have no problems eating people out or with any other kind of sex and I like to consider myself adventurous and open-minded, but I fear I can never be with a cis man because I don’t want to suck his dick. The idea of giving a blowjob to any kind of dick, silicone or organic, revolts and upsets me to the point of tears.
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I’ve had sex with women and trans men, but never a cis man, and though I’m not opposed to the idea, one thing, in particular, stresses me out. I’m a college-aged, assigned female at birth, bisexual person who has so far only had relationships with women. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Every week, Rich and Stoya answer a special question they could only tackle together, just for Slate Plus members.
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